It is so easy to become cynical in today's world. There is so much hate and ugliness out there that it makes me sad just to watch the news or read things I see on the internet.
People that you love and care about can also leave you in a state of despair at times. I have found that those whom we love the most, are often the one's who cause us the most grief and despair. It is difficult to pinpoint the cause of some of these issues, but it strikes me that no matter how hard you might try to be the best spouse, parent, or friend, often times it is out of your control. You can't make people love and respect you...quite the contrary...many times I feel like the harder I try, the worse I am disappointed.
I guess there are other forces at work here as well. I'm not sure how well I am coping with the fact that I'm getting older and more set in my ways, likes, dislikes, etc...My kids are grown and don't need their dad the way they once did, my own relationships are constantly changing, and I don't deal with change well. My baby girl gets married in 11 days...11 days....
I am sitting at my desk, absentmindedly gazing out at the rain, the winds whipping the bushes and trees, and the darkly ominous skies...I suddenly am feeling very nostalgic and melancholy. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. In fact, if anything, I am taking stock of the blessings I've had in my life. GOD has been good to me and I am truly thankful.
Time to move on to the next task...