It's after 1:00 a.m. and here I sit on the computer. WHY? What on earth do I need to be doing on the computer after 1:00 o'clock in the morning? Let me set the mood...
There is a documentary on China on PBS I'm sort of "listening to" on the TV. There is a cat asleep on the chair next to me (...he's snoring), one asleep across the room on the couch, and one asleep under the coffee table. My wife and the dog are resting peacefully in our bed...And so, I sit and type mindlessly on my laptop. Again, why? Because tonight, my body HATES ME!
I's sure you've seen the commercials of the Michelin Tire Man on television. Tonight, I'm doing my best imitation of that bloated tv spokesman! My left leg and foot are swollen beyond recognition...to the point that my left foot is tingling from the pressure of the swelling. My right foot and ankle look normal, but my right foot is throbbing so that I can feel my pulse quite clearly. I have NO idea what happens to me sometimes, other than my body decides to be rebellious and it SUCKS!!!
I've had half a dozen different doctors, and I've gotten half a dozen different explanations. "Well son, it's caused by poor circulation...", or "...It's probably because you get too much sodium in your diet...", or my personal favorite of all time..."Son, your just fat...it happens!" NO KIDDING??? I AM FAT??? HOLY CRAP! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN????
Sorry...I get defensive and snarky when I have to even think about the lack of assistance from medical science helping me deal with some of my physical problems. If they can't throw a pill or shot at it, then it just doesn't exist or it just doesn't matter. Two days ago, it was a kidney stone...Tonight, my feet. The battle begins with two ibuprofen for round 1...then a Tramadol goes into the ring for round 2...if the battle isn't over by then, I don't know what I'll do...It's already getting close to 2:00 a.m. and I'm so tired I want to collapse. Unfortunately, I can't lay still and be comfortable enough (yet) to go to sleep...so I'll sit here and try to pass the time without slapping a cat or breaking a piece of furniture. BTW...the cat quit snoring finally!
My whiny rant is over...and so is the documentary about China. The movie RAMBO is coming on. Oh wow...is this bad!!! I can't decide what to watch...CHOPPED, RAMBO, or the documentary called THE AMERICAN RIPPER. Well, RIPPER it is! I'd rather have root canal work done without anesthesia than watch RAMBO and I have NO desire to watch three pastry chefs attempt to make a dish out of "candied crab"...yes...candied crab...real crabs that have been dehydrated and covered with sugar and sprinkles! (It's the end of the world as we know it!!!)
I didn't think that I could be any more miserable tonight, but what do you know? My misery is now complete...I'm now watching a documentary on the "AMERICAN JACK THE RIPPER"...
I'm done...I'll just lay in bed and be miserable!
PEACE LOVE CRABS